Wednesday, January 5, 2011

...if frowning excessively can cause a 'widows peak' or 'male-patterned baldness'.

So before you get all uppity with me about a very touchy subject for many men, I have a postulation.

I walk to work every day. When I walk to work there is a man I pass who looks to be in his mid- to late-twenties who wears a dark coat. He has a receding hairline. I saw him today and I think his hairline has receded further still since the last time I saw him. When I see him he always seems to be in a frowny sort of mood, eyebrows down in dark contemplation or shot up in some kind of moment of aggravation which serves nothing for his face as it causes  his receding hairline to recede further and make more of an impact on his slowly disappearing hair. Of course I would like to be of assistance to this man and perhaps ask him why he is so glum, but I suppose that would be a little bit weird and probably unhelpful.

"Excuse me sir?"
Looks surprised, but stops. "Yes?"
"Sir, I was just wondering, why do you always appear to be so worried and stressed out about things?"
His eyebrows move slightly downwards.
"Well, sir, I walk by you most days to work, and you always seem to have a furrowed brow, and look worried, or your eyebrows shot up in irritation."
His eyebrows shoot up in irritation.
"Well, sir, I was wondering [slight stammer] if it was contributing to your receding hairline? Your irritation, your stress I mean, that results in your shot up eyebrows..."
He walks away in aggravation and a few more hairs fall out of his head.

WARNING: This is not a good way to 'pick up', 'pull or generally try to flirt with someone. But that is beside the point...

Back to the point: I feel bad for this dude. I know how much dudes worry about their hairlines and until they resign themselves to what seems inevitable (or perhaps now fixable with implants or other technology), hair just keeps on disappearing until it finds a nice stopping point. Now I wonder, if only he could just de-stress a bit, chill out, and smile a little, if his hair would grow back, or at least forget how to fall out of his head and generally stay put.

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